


Fireball

by JustAnotherBlonde



Series: A Lifetime of Moments [12]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Art School, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - College/University, But that's not the main drama here, Drinking, It's about to get darker, It's hinted that Orochimaru likes young boys, Kabuto knows too much, M/M, Sasuke is a good bartender, Sasuke the bartender, Tobi is acting weird, Uchiha Family Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26889649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherBlonde/pseuds/JustAnotherBlonde
Summary: Deidara wants to know more about Sasuke Uchiha and why he wants revenge on Itachi. Tobi takes him to Orochimaru's gay bar, the Snake Den, where Sasuke has just started working.
Relationships: Deidara & Tobi (Naruto), Deidara & Uchiha Sasuke, Deidara/Sasori (Naruto)
Series: A Lifetime of Moments [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878778
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Fireball

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like it might help if you imagine Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" playing in the background for most of this story...
> 
> if you're only just joining us, Tobi and Deidara are roommates, now in their second year of university. feel free to skip around the stories in this series!

“Alright. Tobi, you’re gonna fucking spill about Itachi or I’m going to break your fucking face.” Deidara cracked his knuckles for effect. “Sasori won’t tell me anything, and god knows I can’t actually ask Itachi about it, so I’m counting on you, mn.”

Tobi eyed Deidara uneasily for a moment, then his expression quickly morphed into a grin.

“I’ve got a better idea,” Tobi said with a shrug. “I’ll introduce you to Sasuke. He got into town a week ago.”

Deidara stared. He thought about it. He blinked. He finished thinking about it.

“Is he as hot as Itachi?”

Tobi grinned.

*

“Why _the fuck_ are we at the Snake Den? Mn,” Deidara whispered as they stepped through the door. Lady Gaga was blaring on the speakers, but it was early: the club was still quite empty.

“Is it just me or are you cursing more than normal?” Tobi whispered back.

“Shut the fuck up, Tobi, mn,” Deidara hissed.

“There he is,” Tobi said, pointing.

Orochimaru stood at the bar surveying his domain, flanked by two young men. One wore glasses and his pale grey hair pulled back in a ponytail— _that can’t be him, mn_. The other had dark hair like Itachi and Tobi, and a brooding demeanor. The way he wore his hair flipped over his face and surveyed the room with an almost professional nonchalance gave him a bad-boy vibe that surely had women and men alike clawing for his attention. His hands were in the pockets of slim black trousers which he had paired with a loose white shirt, cut with a deep V-neck.

“Yeah, he’s hot, mn,” Deidara remarked to Tobi. “Looks like a real asshole, though.”

“Wait ‘til you talk to him,” Tobi said while rolling his eyes.

*

“Hey! Sasuke!” Tobi called as they approached. Sasuke was alone behind the bar; Orochimaru and the other man had disappeared into the back together.

“Tobi,” Sasuke greeted. He seemed very busy arranging bottles and wiping down glasses.

“You know,” Tobi began with a choked laugh, “I really thought you were joking when you said you were going to work for Orochimaru…”

“I need experience,” Sasuke said curtly. “And Orochimaru is the most successful Japanese businessmen in this backwater town. There is a lot I can learn from him, not only about business but also our culture.”

_Wow…_ Deidara thought, hoping that he had stopped himself from rolling his eye in time.

“So serious,” Deidara commented. “For a kid, mn. How old are you?”

“Eighteen.” Sasuke turned his sullen gaze on Deidara. “Who the hell are you?”

“Rude!” Deidara exclaimed, placing a hand on his chest to theatrically express his shock. “You mean Tobi hasn’t told you about his marvelous roommate, Deidara? Mn.”

“Oh.” Sasuke eyed him with visible mistrust.

Deidara spun on Tobi. “What the hell did you tell him about me, mn?”

Tobi bounced up and down on his heels in glee. “Not much, Deidara-senpai…”

“I’ll fucking kill you, Tobi, mn,” Deidara growled, gripping Tobi’s collar, but he dropped him when he noticed the other patrons beginning to stare.

Turning to Sasuke, he put on what he hoped was a lovely, non-threatening smile. “I don’t know what he said about me, but I promise I’m not crazy. The thing with the explosives in his spaghetti was _art_. He wasn’t supposed to put his face _that_ close to it, I _swear_ I tried to warn him, mn.”

Sasuke gave him a deadpan stare. “Right.” He turned to Tobi. “Look, I’m busy. Can I get you two anything to drink or are you just going to waste my time?”

Deidara’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “The balls on this kid! Mn. Make me a—Tobi, what’s the most complicated thing I could order—”

“Ask him for a Blow Job—”

“Yes, a—no, fuck, Tobi, you dickhead—”

Sasuke paled. He tried to edge away.

“No, I know! Gimme a Flaming Fireball! Ha! Mn!” Deidara looked at Tobi, his eye sparkling. “He’s gotta light the thing on fire, it’s like, fifteen steps to make at least—”

But when he turned back to Sasuke, the kid had already assembled his ingredients and begun mixing cinnamon whisky with orange syrup, some other spirits and a dash of lemon in the shaker. Pouring the mixture out into a martini glass and topping it off with soda, he flicked a skewer with something round affixed to the top of it into the glass, snapped his fingers and the whole thing was on fire.

The ball on the skewer burned brightly. Warm orange flame flickered in Sasuke’s fathomless eyes.

“Wow!” Deidara couldn’t help but exclaim. “How the fuck did you do that? Mn.”

Sasuke opened his hand to reveal the concealed lighter.

“Anything else?” he said, eyeing them coolly.

“Uh… I’ll just take an Asahi,” Tobi muttered.

*

“Flaming Fireballs are damned expensive, mn,” Deidara grumbled as he sipped his drink. “And they’re made with whisky, bleh.”

“Happy now, Deidara-senpai?”

“I fucking hate you, mn.”

Deidara sipped his Fireball and grimaced. They had found a table near the back on the first floor of the Snake Den. Deidara had claimed the entire booth, sticking Tobi with one of the hardwood chairs.

“He’s gonna have a rough time working at a gay bar if he’s afraid of getting hit on, though, mn,” Deidara commented, looking sideways at Tobi.

Tobi wiggled his eyebrows. “You noticed, ha.”

“Why the fuck is he here? Mn.”

“You mean in town? Because he’s after—”

“I got that part, I’m not thick. I mean why is he working at Snake Den? Really, mn?”

Shrugging, Tobi replied, “Honestly? I can’t figure it out. I know he wants revenge, but I can’t understand why he’d seek out Orochimaru-sama, of all people. He knows Itachi hates him, although he doesn’t really know why…”

“Wait, what? You never told him? I thought you said you were like his brother ever since Itachi was disowned, mn?”

“I think Orochimaru-sama got to him somehow…” Tobi said, half to himself. “Maybe he thinks Orochimaru can help him finish this…”

“Hello? Earth to Tobi: aren’t you worried??” It seemed that Tobi did not have his priorities straight. The lengths to which Sasuke might go to get revenge on Itachi not to mention whatever complicated family drama was going on here with Tobi were still abstract concepts to Deidara, while the dangers of a sexual predator with a taste for young boys rang ugly, angry alarm bells in his mind. No kid was such an asshole that he deserved to be assaulted.

Tobi’s expression was odd: a kind of mischievous grin coupled with a nonchalant shrug. “I’m sure Sasuke can handle himself. Besides, Orochimaru-sama has Kabuto now. He’s not going to go after Sasuke.”

“Kabuto? You mean that white-haired kid? Despite the hair, he doesn’t look that old though… Definitely not older than me.”

“He’s been with Orochimaru-sama for years now—”

“Case and fucking point. That’s gross. This Oro guy creeps me the fuck out, mn.” Deidara knocked back the rest of his Fireball and started picking at the charred orb. It seemed to be made from charcoal or a similar material. “Don’t you think Orochi-whatsit is gonna get bored with Kaboodle and turn his sights on young Hot Sauce? Mn.”

“Uh…”

Tobi lifted his beer to his lips, then choked on it at the sight of a gleaming pair of glasses and a long silver ponytail materializing from the shadows behind their table.

“You could at least have the courtesy to get our names right, _Deidara_ ,” Kabuto sneered as he slid into the chair beside Tobi.

Deidara gaped. “What the—how do you—”

“I make it my job to know as much as I can about our patrons,” Kabuto said, flashing what could have been a warm smile if not for the glint in eyes.

He turned to face Tobi first. “Tobi Uchiha—or Uchiha Obito, as your family prefers.” His Japanese pronunciation was flawless as he uttered the syllables of Tobi’s true name. “You were born here, in this country, as were your parents. Your grandparents immigrated from Japan more than half a century ago, following the rest of your clan as they sought to establish themselves in a land which afforded them far more opportunities for… economic growth.”

“You can stop there,” Tobi growled, his eyes suddenly dark and threatening. “There’s no need for Deidara to know what sort of economic opportunities my family found here, Kabuto.”

Deidara stared at him. Tobi had transformed: gone was the awkward freshman, replaced by a powerful young man, completely in control of himself. The effect was slightly lost when he tried to swill his drink like a mobster: the beer bottle was much less dramatic than a glass of whisky.

“Right, do me next, mn,” Deidara interjected, feeling a little left out of whatever was going on between Kabuto and Tobi. Kabuto turned his sharp eyes onto Deidara and smirked.

“You go by Deidara, no surname, in order to distance yourself from your parents, who are actually quite influential in national politics and charity organisations, a position bought with the fortune of your father’s father. But the life of the scion never suited you: you were always itching to escape the trappings of finery and vacuous conversations. You often acted out as a child, starting with small acts of vandalism, until the incident which landed you in the army: the complete demolition of the carriage house of your grandfather’s mansion.” Kabuto paused and gave Deidara a curious look. “I’ve always wanted to know how you pulled that off…”

Deidara, shaken that a complete stranger knew _this much_ about his life, warmed at once at the opportunity to speak about his art. His eye glittered as he spoke:

“Well, the best part was that not even the _cleaning ladies_ noticed the packages of C4 and dynamite I was hiding all over the house—in cupboards, under tables, under the stairs, up the chimney… It took me nearly a year to get the wiring just right. And you would be _appalled_ how easy it was to buy all that shit on the internet if you have enough money. You can get away with anything when you’re rich, mn.” He stared off into the distance thoughtfully. “You know, when they sent me to the army I honestly thought I would be happy there. I thought I’d get the chance to practice my art… But—”

“But! Nobody ca~ares about _you_ , Deidara-sen _pai_!” Tobi piped up in a mockery of his usual goofy tone. “You wanted to know about Sasuke and Itachi: perhaps _Kabuto’s_ the one to ask.”

Tobi fixed Kabuto with a steady gaze, his expression unreadable.

“Oh. Right, mn,” Deidara blinked. What the fuck was up with Tobi?

Kabuto smiled. “Ah, the Uchiha Incident, is it? Yes, it was terrible. Nine people died that morning, every one of them an Uchiha. Itachi confessed that he had been experimenting with chemicals in the back room of the family-run factory, that he’d left them unattended. His parents and the workers were just beginning their shifts when the explosion occurred…”

“But…” Deidara leaned forward. “But why did he do it? What was he thinking?”

With a shrug, Kabuto lifted his hand to signal a staff member to approach. The young woman placed a passion fruit martini in front of Deidara, a fresh Asahi by Tobi’s elbow and a vodka martini into Kabuto’s outstretched fingers.

“He said very little at the trial,” Kabuto explained. “One of his teachers vouched for him, said he was a troubled child, struggled with depression, that he was acting out…”

Tobi looked pensive, but as Kabuto trailed off, he spoke up: “That defense worked… Itachi got a year and a half in juvie for involuntary manslaughter, then they let him finish high school and go to college. But that’s not what we believe happened. We believe Itachi murdered them. He murdered them all on purpose.”

“But _why?_ ” Deidara repeated. He simply could not believe that the unassumingly brilliant artist Itachi was a murderer. “There had to be a reason for it, mn.”

Kabuto looked from Tobi to Deidara, then back to Tobi, who stared him down with another unreadable expression. Some unspoken communication passed between the two of them, then Kabuto turned to Deidara.

“Tobi knows,” he said curtly. “But it looks like he doesn’t want to tell you.”

He sipped his martini and leveled his gaze at Deidara cross the rim of the glass.

“However, I do not share his reservations. I am merely an observer who cares very little one way or the other.” With a darting glance at Tobi, Kabuto leaned forward and spoke quickly: “If you knew your parents were engaged in _illicit_ activities that were drawing the wrong kind of attention—if your own cousin, a police officer, had lost his life in the process of trying to uncover this family secret—if these activities put your precious little brother at risk… what would you do to keep him safe?”

Suddenly, a knife blossomed beside Kabuto’s hand, embedded in the table bare millimeters from his thumb. The knife’s hilt was gripped tightly by none other than Tobi.

Deidara jumped back in his seat and cried, “Woah! What the fuck! Tobi!”

He looked wildly from Tobi, whose face was twisted into a grim snarl, to Kabuto, who was grinning. Kabuto brought a hand up to his face, pushing his glasses back with his palm as he laughed softly to himself.

“Those are vicious, dirty lies, you filthy snake,” Tobi growled, his voice dripping with malice. “And now you have your viper’s fangs sunk into our Sasuke—”

“‘Our’?” echoed Kabuto. Incredulous laughter spilled from his lips. “He is no longer yours. If he still trusted the Uchiha he wouldn’t have come running to _us_.”

Deidara sat there, wondering _what the hell_ he’d stumbled into. He slurped his martini loudly in order to remind the other two of his existence.

Tobi shot him a dirty look, then composed his face, transforming from that intimidating young man— _what had Kabuto said his Japanese name was…? Obito?_ —back into “Tobi”. “Tobi” smiled, a big, sappy, clownish grin.

“Well, now you know, Deidara-senpai!” he exclaimed clapping his hands together. “You know what Itachi did, you know that Kabuto is a filthy liar, and you know that Orochimaru-sama is a generous man who is going to let us stay here drinking as long as we want without charging a penny if he’d like the Uchiha to stay out of his business here in town!”

Kabuto graced him with a benevolent smile which seemed to say _You think we’re afraid of you?_ Deidara was very unsure who was winning this fight. He didn’t understand what was going on in the slightest. But if he could get free drinks out of it…

*

Deidara tiptoed into the apartment, hoping to find Sasori peacefully asleep so he wouldn’t have to answer _any_ questions about the strange night he’d just had. The apartment was dark: safe!

“Where have you been?” came Sasori’s voice from the bed. Dammit.

“You’re not going to like the answer, mn,” Deidara replied as he kicked off his shoes and stumbled into the apartment. His head was swimming from all the drinks Tobi had wrangled from Kabuto and, by extension, Orochimaru. The “Uchiha Incident”, implications of murder, and mention any other illicit activities were strictly avoided for the remainder of the evening. Sasuke had even joined them at the end of the night, although he’d mostly just sat there, sullenly staring at the table.

“If I had to guess,” Sasori said as Deidara crawled into bed and snuggled up, divested of his shirt and shorts, “If I had to guess, from the smell alone, I’d guess you were at Snake Den.”

Deidara cuddled closer into Sasori’s embrace.

“You would be right, mn.”

Sasori kissed his head.

“Did you… see _him_?”

Deidara nodded. “But that wasn’t why I went. Tobi took me to meet Sasuke. And I met Kabuto, too.”

Sasori twisted to look at him, seeking his eyes in the dark. “Kabuto? You spoke to him?”

“Yeah, he’s creepy. He knows _everything_ … mn.”

“Kabuto…”

“What? You know him? Wait, how do you know him?”

“It’s complicated… a story for another day, my love.”

“Mn,” Deidara pouted.

They fell into silence, but Deidara’s brain was still working.

He pulled Sasori from a light snooze when he spoke again:

“There is some fucked up shit going on between those Uchihas and Orochimaru. I thought you were being dramatic when you said we needed to keep an eye on Itachi but now…”

“You don’t know the half of it…” Sasori said dreamily.

Deidara waited, but soon he realized he was not going to hear the other half tonight.


End file.
